My new favorite question?

"Would you like the subtle satisfaction of knowing your life is awesome?"

I came up with this question while trying to describe what I'd like to feel when people work with me.

However, a problem soon emerged. I couldn't contain the satisfaction level to that of "subtle." Pretty soon I was downright gleeful, and giddy.

It got to the point where I had to coin a new word - "gliddy" (gleeful + giddy).

I now often find myself gently fluctuating between the different states.

Wondering how your life could be awesome too?

The answer to that is simple in concept, but difficult in execution - you have to look at everything that's going on in your life, and not only accept it, but view it as the best thing ever (move over sliced bread!)

(I never claimed this method was original)

Those of you stuck in the objective reality of your situation are SOL (though maybe I can help).

How to find extra hours in your day and enjoy them more!

My colleague, Karin Vibe-Rheymer-Stewart of DailyMastery.com, and I are leading a fun, informative 90-minute workshop where you will:

- Discover how you can stop stress dead in its tracks
- Tame your stress-inducing, time-wasting monsters
- Conquer your stressful emergencies once and for all
- Find out how to create stress-free relationships
- Change your relationship to stress… for the better

It takes place in NYC on Tuesday, June 19th from 6:30-8pm.
I encourage all of you to register!

Stress Reduction Method #481 - Talk to yourself

futureme.org

It's not a diary, well... it could be.
It's not a confessional, well... it could be.

All I know is that every time I send a message to myself I'm filled with glee. Especially since I quickly forget when it'll arrive. Try picking random dates in the future - months, years, decades out.

NB: If you sign up for an account you can change the email address it gets sent to - if you don't want an account you may want to own www.yourname.com (so that you still use the recipient email address)

Annoying vs. Necessary

Today I was discussing with a client how annoying a person could be in relation to how necessary they are as well as when they are told about their behavior. The following chart is what we came up with.


People start out being "Welcome." As they become more annoying, they enter the "nuisance" zone where they are usually told about their disliked behavior. If they keep up the negative trend, they then become "avoided." In addition, if this is in a work environment, too much more and they'll be fired.

Everyone can be a little annoying, but the slack they get (i.e. when they shift from "welcome" to "nuisance" to "avoided" is in direct proportion to how necessary they are. In the chart below Person A (PA) has a "necessary value" of 6, and Person B (PB) has one of 18. As a result, PA has only two "annoying units" before they told about their behavior. If they continue to 5 units, they're given up on and just muttered about behind their back. Once they reach 7 units they're fired.

Meanwhile at 7 units PB is only now shifting into "nuisance" area - being told about their unacceptable behavior.


So basically we all have a choice if we want to be "welcome"
1) Get along with others (i.e. don't annoy others)
2) Become more necessary
3) Not interact with others

Or you could just not care what others think.

Forget something?

On Tuesday I went to see Seth Godin talk about his latest book The Dip. The talk was great, I got him to sign a copy of the book, take a photo with me, and told him that I was the one who sent him this picture of a remarkably un-remarkable shoe store.

At the start of the Q&A session after his great presentation he mentioned that he would give out prizes to the people who asked the best questions. I (and apparently everyone else in the room too) were enjoying the moment so much that no one remembered about the prize. I had even walked out talking with a guy about his video company.

As we parted ways outside the venue I recalled that the prize had not been awarded. The problem is that NYC "cool etiquette" requires that I shrug the prize off as unimportant and walk away. The kid inside me required that I shake off outside approval (aka looking cool) and go back and find out about the prize. We all know what I did...

I went back and got the prize! The Purple Cow Award given to those Transforming Business by Being Remarkable

(btw, I did ask a really good question about what strategies he'd use to engage the world-view of people who want their kids to go after their interests, not just do things to get into college.)

I get the prize, heartily shake Seth's hand, and once again leave the venue. After walking a full block I check my phone for messages, and also to see the photo with Seth, but I couldn't find it! I tried three times... this was not good. Had I closed the phone too quickly and the picture not saved? Could I go back and ask him to take another picture? Wasn't that going to be too weird? I could tell that he was going to remember me, but no longer in a good way if I went back.

I had overcome NYC "cool etiquette" once, but twice? I wasn't strong enough. So, I accepted that somethings were just not meant to be.

A couple of days later I uploaded the recent photos to my computer ... and lo and behold...



Some possible morals:
- Don't worry, be happy
- Be more careful
- There's a fine line between assertive and obsessed
- [insert your moral here] (or in the comment section)

I hate it ... until that other guy likes it

On my way home last night I saw Mario Batali coming out of a ramen noodle restaurant that opened a while ago on 2nd & 13th. To me ramen noodles are pretty plain and basic food. I don't understand how so many have opened up in my neighborhood, let alone how people are willing to put up with waiting on a line (or just loitering) outside for some when there are plenty of good alternatives that serve up more than just noodles.

All that changes when you start asking a famed chef about his and his two dinner companions' descriptions of their meal. They proceeded to quickly list four "must haves" while rubbing their bellies and wistfully remembering their just-finished meal.

So now I have to go try that place ... the place that I've shaken my head at for months now as too trendy and "what's the point."

Worst comes to worst - I'll try it, shrug my shoulders, and move on... but at least I'll understand a bit more about why others will wait on line for it.

P.s. I tried the "amazing" pizza place next door and I don't think my palate is sensitive enough to appreciate the fineness of the ingredients.

Do you have two minutes?

I recently attended a two day workshop on the Sedona Method - a technique developed in 1952 by Lester Levenson, when doctors told him he only had a short time to left live. (He lived another 42 years because of this method.)

It takes you through a series of questions that gently confront and breakdown emotional frustrations.

Naturally at the end of the workshop I was feeling very relaxed and open. It was a gorgeous eventing and I went to eat dinner in the garden of a restaurant around the corner from my apartment.

I continued my habit of exchanging a few polite words with the waitress. At one point she said, "I wish I could be as relaxed as you are."

"Do you have two minutes?" I replied.

She said she didn't - at least not right then, but came by a few minutes later. I had her sit down across from me, took her through the Sedona Method, and humbly accepted her sincere thanks when she got up feeling more joyous and calm.