Monday, April 14, 2008

5 more things you can do to make your life peaceful

I contributed 5 tips for a sidebar in this week's Woman's World. The article is on bringing more peace into your life.

A few great tips that didn't make it into the article:

1) Recognize, Evaluate, and Secure Personal Boundaries

Understand why your buttons (aka boundaries) are being pushed rather than just the action that triggers them.

Ask yourself: "What is it that I am sensitive to that's being triggered? Why am I sensitive to it? How is that helping me?"

2) Get the other person's perspective of the situation

Every person sees the world differently. One person's helpful action is another's encroachment of personal space. Sustained communication and open dialogue, while taking effort in the short run, save it in the long run - that includes talking with yourself.

Ask yourself (and/or the other person): “What exactly are we arguing about? What happened that lead up to this situation? What would be a satisfactory resolution?”

3) Response-ability:
You can't change others, but you can change your response to their behavior.

Ask yourself: "How would I prefer to respond? What would it take to respond that way?"

4) Do-ability:

Every task you set before yourself is do-able (I'm not including inventors in this group). If you aren't getting it done some part of your approach or mind-set isn't working.

Ask yourself:
Do you need more time?

Is there a better time to make the attempt?

Are better tools available?

Are more hands needed?

Do you have enough information?

If you struggled with a task, and were eventually successful, take time to analyze what was different about the situation. The task may come up again.

5) The Best Response:
No matter the situation, the best response is never to "stress out."

Ask yourself: "What a better response would be?"

Then follow your advice ;)

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