Presentation on August 11th: The Game of Stress

Please join me at the upcoming Applied Improvisation Network (AIN) NY regional meeting on Wednesday, August 11th.

The event is open to improvisers and non-improvisers alike who want to improve their applied improvisation skills and learn more about using improv games as a form of experiential learning in a business/organizational setting.

The evening will consist of some getting-to-know-you games, opportunities to share your favorite and most effective exercises, and I will present - The Game of Stress. (This will be a mini version of the workshop that I will present in September at this year's AIN conference in Amsterdam.)

About The Game of Stress: Discover insights and workable solutions to even your most overwhelming situations resulting in an immediate reduction of stress in your life. Bring your stressful situations and we’ll apply improv exercises to the stress-release methods introduced in my book, The Gift of Stress.

After the session, we'll discuss the exercises used, other ways it could have been facilitated, and conclude with a game swap.

Date/Time: 
Wednesday, August 11th
6:30 to 9:30 PM

Location:
Teachers College, Columbia University
525 West 120th Street b/w Broadway and Amsterdam
map

Directions: 
Take the 1 train to 116th (and Broadway). Walk four blocks North on Broadway, then turn right on 120th. The entrance is half-way down the block on the North side of the street. If you do not see Zohar or Caitlin waiting by the guard's desk, just tell the guard you are going to room 305 in the library. Take the elevator to the third floor, walk through the large reading room to the set of study rooms in the back. We will be in room 305.

Cost: $5 suggested donation to help cover snacks.

RSVP to ainnycmeeting@gmail.com so we can estimate supplies and room size.

The Gift of Stress: the first edition is now a limited edition

The "good" news is that people have really enjoyed and benefited from applying the tools, tips and techniques in The Gift of Stress (check out the reviews on Amazon!)


In the process of promoting the book and getting it into retail outlets (Quest Bookshop being the first to carry it), it got into the hands of a literary agent (Laura Ross from Jill Grinberg Literary Management). Long story short, I'm now in the process of submitting The Gift of Stress to major publishers.


The "bad" news is that I won't be able to sell or print more copies of the book once the proposal I'm writing gets sent out. And if it gets picked up by a publisher, it'll be unavailable for another year.


All this is to say that I'm really proud that the book has been so well received, and bummed that it has to be taken off the shelves so soon. So if you were planning on purchasing a copy,  please don't delay. There are less than 100 copies left and they won't be available much longer.

An Interview About Stress and Humor

Earlier this week I was interviewed by Drew Tarvin of HumorThatWorks.com - a site dedicated to helping corporations, companies, managers, employees, and even your average Joe (or Joe-ette) bring humor into the workplace and life in general.

Highlights from our talk include:

• The Gift of Stress (0:35)
• Why We Suck at Handling Stress (5:50)
• Can You Become Stress-Free (9:40)
• The Seven Rs of Stress Release (16:30)
• The All Important Reminder (20:14)
• Humor as a Diffuser (27:15)
• The Stress of a Haircut (32:06)

You can listen to the interview and download the transcript here.

Supporting a Charity

I believe that programs that give creative outlets and opportunities for people helps people find meaning and passion in their lives which in turn makes the world a better place. 

In that spirit I've donated three coaching sessions and a copy of  The Gift of Stress in the support of the great people at Figure Skating in Harlem - a pioneering not-for-profit organization that provides girls ages 6-18 with vital educational and skating opportunities that build self-worth and promote physical well being and academic achievement. 

Please support their efforts with an auction bid on CharityBuzz.com too and get a bargain to boot! As they say, Do Good, Live Well.

The Stressed-Out Job Search

As happy as I am that the healthcare reform bill passed, we're still a long way from living lives without stress and with the other reactions we'd prefer to take its place.


Until then, here's some other good news (as reported in the Maplewood Patch) - the members of the Professionals in Transition group that meets in the main branch of the Maplewood, NJ Public Library are closer to releasing their stress - insurance or not.


We covered how searching for jobs, particularly those searches that extend far beyond initial expectations, have many unfamiliar and unexpected aspects - like explaining a job you do well in the space and format of a resume, cover letter, and interview. After all, these people have been learning how to do their jobs well for decades, not how to write about or discuss them.


Are you dealing with a lot of new situations?

A peek into a recent workshop

I recently gave a talk presenting the Key Points of Stress Release from in The Gift of Stress:
- Stress is Optional
- My definition of stress
- The Four Diffusers: Gap, Attachment, Familiarity, and Mood.

Join me at my next event where I'll go into more detail and gift the audience with bookmarks that have the Key Points on them as well. Or contact me and we'll create an event just for you group.

Book Launch Party!

The 2/22 book launch party was a big success!
Over 50 people turned out to celebrate the release of The Gift of Stress.

 

As part of the festivities, I was able to bring together local friends and business to donate (i.e. give gifts) their products and services towards a free raffle! Everyone who showed up was given a raffle ticket, and could get more raffle tickets for each copy of the book they bought. They then put the ticket in a box designated to the prize they wanted to try for.

I would like to extend a special thanks to my donors:

http://www.MagnetTheater.com - Level 1 improv class

http://www.feng-shui-design-interiors.com - Feng Shui for more money or a new honey

http://www.SushiBySimon.com - Sushi class

http://www.StoryPirates.org - 4 tickets to a any upcoming show

http://www.ObliqSound.com - 4 CDs: "Speak" by Michael Olatuja; "Sira" by Ablaye Cissoko & Volker Goetze; "Abyss" by Jacques Schwarz-Bart; "Like Water" by Anne Drummond

http://www.AndrewShapiro.com - 1 CD: "Numbers, Colors, and People"

http://squeezethestone.org - 1 DVD: "A Good Uplift"

Overcoming obstacles, hindrances, and the like

I recently brought up an ambitious project with someone close to me. The immediate response was was, "you can't do that."

Two things came up for me:
1) I don't like hearing that I can't do something.
I prefer to explore all the options before believing a term as definite as "can't". Maybe it's the hours I've spent playing Freecell, trying to find my way out of an unpleasant layout.

In any case, I'd much rather determine for myself that I'm in a dead-end than accept the opinion of someone with equally limited information.

2) Of course I can; I just don't know how yet.

I really enjoy coming up with creative solutions to problems - it's one of my strengths (and yours too! If you can imagine why something won't work, you can imagine why it will).

So what's the course of action? Instead of arguing "can vs. can't" shift the conversation to "How can I?"

Check out page 97 of The Gift of Stress for more on how to Change the Questions You Ask Yourself.

Confusing stress with motivation

Do you use tension as a motivator? A lot of people put themselves in situations where they feel pressure to finish a project. The problem is that we start making an association that without stress you're not going to do anything.

This is just not true. Once you're doing something you actually find interesting and appealing you the action to follow through comes naturally. The activity actually becomes a labor of love... like eating ice cream.

How much pressure and "motivation" do you need to go to the freezer and set yourself up with a serving of your favorite flavor? I'd say it's pretty effortless - just something within you that gets you up and acting.

The trick is finding that same connection in whatever you've been using stress for.

More on stressless motivation can be found on page 42 in The Gift of Stress.

Thanks - my acknowledgement

Yesterday I sent my book to the printer.

I owe a huge debt of gratitude to those who have helped me along the four-year journey of writing The Gift of Stress. I certainly couldn’t have completed this project without the tremendous support of my many friends and colleagues. In particular:

Janice Wright, who helped me get started. Al Desetta, who first put my scattered thoughts and words into one document. Scott Shane Holt and Lyndell Moore, who honed draft after draft. Fran Vogel, Saryn Goldberg and Shreedevi Thacker, who shared much appreciated direction and insight. Kate Addicott, my editor, who sat with me dozens of times and always had the right answer. David Edelstein, one of my oldest friends, who also edited and literally gave shape to the book. Dr. Gideon Orbach, DC, for helping me understand how stress affects the body. Alex Linsker and Michael Weitz, who have helped me be more like myself. Itay Blasenheim, who checks on everything I do. My brother, Ron, who gives the best yay and nay. And my parents,

to whom this book is dedicated, for being honest and enthusiastic.

I also recognize that I could not have learned as much as I have about who I am and what I do without all my workshop attendees, clients, mentors, trainees, coaches, and all the random people I interact with from day to day.

And a happy Thanksgiving to all!

Moving on from judgment

I'm about to send my book, The Gift of Stress, to the printer.

Back in the days when I was a student I would get judged all the time... for my writing, tests, attendance, etc. Looking back, the nice thing about those days was that you'd get one grade, and then you'd move on.

When I'd perform improv I'd have the same feeling - it was one-and-out. My performance was a one-time thing and if you were in the audience you'd react to it in the moment and then it'd fade. Everyone would move on.

In 5th grade I made a stupid comment in class that a few people teased me about until sometime in high school when it faded. I think it helped that there was no written record. Even then we moved on.

It doesn't work that way for a book that you want a lot of people to read - one that you've billed as the culmination of four years of work. It's easier to write-off a bad appearance on Letterman than a book. People almost expect you to screw up on national television. But a book? You had all the time you wanted for it. In fact, since most books that are started aren't completed there's a higher expectation for it (after all, if it wasn't good you would have given up on it. Right?)

So each person reading it will judge the work. And it will continue to be judged pretty much forever. You can't un-write a book. And these days it's google-able forever.

The bad news is that I still want everyone to love it, or not disagree, or at least cut me some slack. The good news is, that I believe I'm about to share a quality product (and the semi-objective feedback I've gotten has been universally positive).

So what really matters in all this? How I'm feeling in the moment. Is it stress? Is it joy? Something else? Right now I want to feel excitement and joy. oooh, maybe even gliddy!

P.S. I didn't put so much effort into a book just to move on from it (at least that's my perspective right now). I can picture that in a decade or two I'll want people to move on from it and pay attention to my latest brilliant work.

Grinding out the stress

A NY Times article today discussed how there's been a 15% rise in sales of night guards for teeth - much of it due to increased levels of stress.

While using a guard is a good idea to calm your nerves and save your teeth in the short run, wouldn't you rather get rid of stress at it's root? (puns intended)

My book is coming next month - The Gift of Stress: How to Act on the Urgent Message That's Trying to Save Your Life

I recommend reviewing some of the past posts on sleep to deal with the advice mentioned in the final paragraph of the article:

“Good sleep hygiene goes a long way to keeping the mind relaxed and the jaws from starting to smack together,” said Dr. McCracken, who has studied the relation of sleep to teeth grinding. “We know that the stress center of the brain is directly next to the part of the brain that controls teeth grinding. We’re not sure how it relates to the disorder, but it’s intriguing. Lately, I even tell my patients, before they go to bed, not to watch the news.”